Jaws IV – The Revenge (1987)
Cast: Michael Caine, Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest, Mario Van Peebles
Director: Joseph Sargent
Nutshell: A quite amazingly stupid film… hilariously awful
“misguided attempt at a bit of art” Time Out
“waste of viewing time” Creature Features
“watchable but mediocre re-tread” Maltin’s
“worst of the lot” Blockbuster Video
One of the wonders of the world. Absolutely mind-numbingly, stupefying ridiculous movie incorporating the famous tag line “This time its personal”.
This basically means that the shark has now developed a vendetta against the horrid Brody family and will pass up any number of potential snacks because by now it has eyes and teeth only for the Brody’s. Who would blame it, such a sickly lot they are, with the sublimely horrendous Lorraine Gary leading the pack?
How this small-time actress managed to land the lead role in a major motion picture should actually not be much of a mystery when one finds that she happens to be the wife of a certain boss of a major studio! She was apparently paid a handsome packet for her work despite being a nobody.
Her performance stinks a mile away and she shamelessly hogs the movie. But then there are others who are perhaps even worse, there is Mario Van Peebles as the happy go lucky Caribbean – a performance that makes Lorraine Gary look like an actress.
Then there is Michael Caine who reputedly signed on because he needed some extra cash to refurbish his sprawling mansion. The romantic scenes between Caine and Gary are risible, culminating in a slow motion run along the beach and a nice slimy mouth to mouth!
Fantastic stuff, but the real killer moment is when Lorraine Gary offers herself to the shark so that the vendetta can finally be over – a truly noble and oh so brave gesture. The finale is shot in a small swimming tank substituting as the ocean, perfectly appropriate for a film as colossally inept as this.
Has to go down as one of the true classics when it comes to recounting the worst movies in memory. Just so awful that it has to be seen to be believed and thoroughly enjoyed in a perverse sort of way.
A huge piece of pure shite, highly recommended to those who like the occasional really, really seriously BAD movie! Incredible. Should in fact be seen and admired for its utter hideousness!