Kuch naa Kaho (2003)


Kuch naa Kaho (2003)
Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai
Director: Rohan Sippy
Music: Shankar Ehsaan Loy
Synopsis: Tedious remake of the late 60’s classic Andaaz


Kuch Na Kaho has been in the making for the past five years but seems more like something that has been kept in the vaults for the past 30 years and simply unpalatable for audiences today. Garnished with a fresh dressing, this salad is as stale as it comes.

Raj (Abhishek Bachchan) lives in America and has an aversion to the word “marriage”. He has no intention of tying the knot but is forced to return to India to attend his cousin’s wedding. In a crass encounter at the airport, he meets Namrata (Aishwariya Rai) and manages to convince this too trusting damsel that he has an ailing son in India and needs to get to Mumbai immediately. The pretty damsel gives up her seat for him only to bump into him at the engagement of Raj’s cousin. Ho hum, since we cannot conceive of any original ideas, it has to be the clichéd boy meets girl, boy tricks girl, girl hates boy scenario and we all know what is going to follow after that. Anyways, Namrata is given the job of finding girls for our hapless hero who naturally falls for her. Who wouldn’t? But life cannot be so easy, can it? So out of the woodwork crawls a child who by now insists on calling Raj “Dad”. As you cringe at the corn that is being flung in your direction, we have the kiddies song, “the super dad” routine and the inevitable coming together of the two main protagonists with a all’s well that ends well ending.

Oh but hang on, where’s the drama? Are we in any doubt from the moment Namrata tells her story of woe that the missing hubby is going to reappear to provide a spoke in the wheel. Well, lo and behold, just as things appear to be falling into place, hubby does in deed appear on cue. Hubby was clearly an avaricious and ambitions creep of a man who abandoned a wife in the throes of labour and who absconded with some floozy to America to make his millions without a care in the world about his wife and child to be. No contact for seven years and then he decides to walk back into their lives. Not very convincing and all rather predictable. Echoes of Darrar and to an extent Dil Ka Rishta.

Raj and Hubby also become drinking pals (yawn yawn) and poor abandoned wife now has to decide whether she is going to play happy families with hubby or dump him for “super dad”. Rohan Sippy kicks off his innings with a languid and old fashioned piece of fluff which begs you to ask the question… why? KNK is almost a distorted version of “andaaz” with Abhishek playing the Shammi Kapoor role and Aishwarya playing the Hema Malini role with the obvious changes to the script. He tries to infuse a freshness to the proceedings but it falls flat simply because of the tedium that sets in due to the creaking relic of a plot. In fact, this is classic bollywood in terms of films of the 60s and early 70s, dressed up as a modern tale but without a modicum of realism to it.

Abhishek Bachchan.should now be referred to as bechara bachchan. His choice of films leaves much to be desired but one hopes that as every dog has his day, he will have his..one day. When that day will come is anyone’s guess because despite the fact that he is OK in the film, he leaves nothing more than an average impression. Who knows, inadvertently, he may be following in his father’s footsteps who managed to give one disaster after another until Zanjeer altered the course of Bollywood history. Aishwariya Rai is stunningly beautiful but just doesn’t reach the right pitch. Her performance lacks subtlety.
The music of the film by Ehsaan, Shankar, and Loy sounds similar to some A.R Rahman ditties but is one of the better points of the film. Not as pathetic as Chalte Chalte, it still has little going for it that would endear it to the public.