Kacha Ghotay (1999)


Kacha Ghotay (1999)
Cast: Tariq Shah, Sunita Khan, Nayab, Asif Khan, Neimat Sarhadi
Director: Saeed Ali Khan
Synopsis: From the proud makers of Haseena A Bomb comes another lurid shocker


The film arrives bearing the undisputed stamp of quality that comes with the involvement of uncrowned king of pushto cinema, the genius Saeed Ali Khan. The man has a proven track record with humungous classics like the immortal Haseena Atom Bomb and the sublime Gringo under his belt. His latest magnum opus Kacha Ghotay promises to take audiences into an altogether new realm.

Khan’s new film arrives as a mouth watering cinematic prospect and it is with feverish, trembling excitement that one inserts the video and hits the play button. The action begins with a trademark Khan scene featuring a bodacious jungle babe discarding her clothes – all of them – and sauntering off for a skinny dip. The fabulously sculpted thunderous curves of the beauty are instantly recognisable as belonging to the voluptuous siren Sunita Khan – glamour queen and pin up fantasy babe #1 of the wild frontier as well as worthy successor to the divine Mussarat Shaheen.

When she’s done rubbing herself here and there and seductively tonguing the strangely hose-pipe like raindrops, she comes across some filthy rags stained with what looks like blood. She goes all fuzzy eyed and we are shown a flashback when her Dad, an honest cop, had told the dreaded criminal Haibat Khan to shut his trap! Nobody disses Haibat Khan without paying a price and the cops tongue is sliced off mercilessly by the deranged goon right infront of his terrified children – one of whom makes a run for it into the forest and ends up as Jungle Babe Sunita Khan.

She and her friend from across the jungle are having a tremendous cat fight when all of a sudden a man in a bear suit appears and starts beating his chest forgetting that he was supposed to be a bear and not a gorilla. One of the babe’s flees in terror and just when it looks as though the man in the bear suit is going to have his way with Sunita – Super Blimp arrives to save the day.

Super Blimp (Tariq Shah) is a humungous hunk of a specimen who could have forged a successful career as a sumo wrestler if he hadn’t been playing avenging Jungle Jim. He has a booming voice like all real men should own and knows exactly how to treat a lady……by pulling her hair to get her into position! It doesn’t take long for Sunita to be totally smitten by the Jungle Hunk and we soon learn that he too had parents whose tongues had been ripped out by the beastly Haibat Khan. So, together the two hunks of cellulite make a perfect dynamic duo. In fact we discover that there are various others grieving parties all seeking vengeance for the loss of the tongues of their loved ones!

The film lives up to all sordid expectations though doesn’t quite match Haseena A Bomb for plot ingenuity. Yet Saeed Ali Khan proves that he is clearly a force to be reckoned with and a genius of major proportions – talent simply oozing from every pore of his being. He treats his audience to a number of thunder thighed lycra wearing, panty flashing jungle babes who indulge in at least three sizzling cat fights along the way. There are dazzling martial arts fights that electrify and make Bruce Lee look like a limp wrested geriatric. The cat fight that turns into a full fledged bear attack is worth the price of entry alone – an instantaneous classic.

The movie’s dress designer must be singled out for special praise and deserves to be honoured by the industry for his spectacular services to the local cinema scene. He has successfully created the most dazzling array of lycra ever assembled. The gorgeously crafted specimens come to their full lycra magnificence when worn by beauties as stunning as the bulbous Sunita Khan – breathtaking is the only word to describe their splendour.

Saeed Ali Khan is a man born to the zoom lens and he proves himself in the master class with his spectacular and repetitive technique of plunging into various orifices of the female anatomy. There are about 15 songs, each more gruesomely obscene than the previous one, until finally Khan out does even himself in a number where a giant wooden phallus is thrust up and down the body of an undulating dancer…….I mean what next!! It’s a total scream – as is the one where we are treated to an elephantine and largely exposed bum being wiggled around and thrust into the camera which is as ever in manic zoom mode.

Saeed Ali Khan stretches all bounds of vulgarity and proves himself in a class of his own and the undisputed Sultan of Sleaze, the Khan King of mutated local porn – genius through and through. How does he come up with those dizzying camera angles?

For icing on the cake there is a spectacular piece of gore in a scene where Asif Khan gores Haibat Khan in vengeance, biting off the flesh and sinews from Haibat’s neck using his bare teeth and then spitting out a chunk or two of chewed off flesh in victory!

For those who enjoy their bad taste truly beyond the gutter level – this movie cannot fail to satisfy. Kacha Ghotay is pure, mind altering sleaze of another dimension altogether – quite stunningly perverse. Be well warned that life may never appear the same having watched this amazing grotesquery.